Sunday, August 28, 2011

How to have a miscarriage

Please note: the following advice is based on my own personal experiences of a total of five first trimester miscarriages.  I am continuously updating this.  Thank you.

Important Kit for a Natural Miscarriage:
Epsom Salt for warm baths
Liquid Calc Mag and Zinc for pain
Ibuprofen or Hydrocodone
Raspberry Leaf Tea for uterus healing
Cranberry Juice or D-Mannose for UTI or kidney infection prevention
Iron with Vitamin C (Floradix) to counteract blood loss
B-Complex, very important for mood, energy and overall healing
Vitex or DIM to help balance out hormones
Sabina homeopathic pellets to induce the miscarriage if sluggish (instead of cytotec)
Always pads (extra long and thin is my favorite)
Important!  Lots and lots of water

Sepia homeopathic and Acupuncture are two others to consider for sluggish miscarriages


My story:
My great grandmother was born in Syria. Married at the age of fourteen, she had her first baby at 16 years old. During her lifetime, she had 7 children, having her last (my grandmother Rose Marie) at the age of 38. In that span of time, she reported that she just had as many miscarriages if not more. She didn't consider this a tragedy or cosmic punishment of sorts. For her, they were normal, natural and occurred to all women. When I experienced my first miscarriage, I wallowed and was sad for a long time about it. I didn't know then about my great grandmother's experience and outlook on it.  It took me a long time to recover and I felt very powerless and vulnerable. While I think grief is normal - this was more in part due to the lack of support and information that is out there. Our culture doesn't talk about miscarriages, doesn't acknowledge that these women are mothers, and only offers cold medical treatments. The second time I had a miscarriage, I was fortunate to have a wonderful friend who imparted her own wisdom and experience and led me down a different road of educating myself, feeling empowered and having hopes for the future. And most importantly, healing my body during the process.  This is something I hope to pass on to others and this is something that I have in common with my great grandmother. I believe that miscarriages are usually normal, they are natural and they happen to almost everyone whether they know it or not.

This is for women and mothers that are already pregnant and have confirmed they are having a miscarriage in the first trimester. Mothers who are 12 weeks or further along should see a doctor or midwife for advice. However, regardless of time of loss, you can still use the advice below to help the healing process. I decided to write this since I've had several (five) miscarriages myself due to my PCOs. Most women that have a miscarriage visit the ER only to be sent home with a pamphlet and pain medications. There is more you can do for yourself and your body.

Step One: Emotional Pain
Each mother deals with the emotional pain differently. Then there are hormones that are in play as well. Women may also deal with post-partum depression along with the loss they are already experiencing. I cannot tell a mother how to deal with emotional pain of a miscarriage. But I can share my own experience. As I mentioned above, my first miscarriage was very upsetting for me. I was younger, less mature and did not reach out for support. With my second miscarriage, I was in a stable marriage with a wonderful partner and we wanted a baby more than anything. I started to go back down the path of grieving, feeling the need to self-punish and induce guilt whatever way I could. Two things snapped me out of it. One my husband: as I was blubbering and crying one day in a classic feel-sorry-for-me moment, he looked at me and quietly said, "I know you are hurting and I know you are sad, but I need you to stop and realize that this effects me too.... when you do this, it makes my own pain worse." That was exactly what I needed to hear. This wasn't just about me. Poor little me. This hurt other people around me. My mother, my husband and everyone who loved and cared about me. Yes, I was experiencing the physical loss, but feeling sorry for myself was not empowering, it was isolating.

The next day at work, I confided in a dear friend what had happened. She immediately shared with me that she had three miscarriages only to go on to have two healthy daughters. Then she looked at me and said, "miscarriages are normal, they are natural and you WILL get pregnant again. Your body has shown that you CAN get pregnant and you WILL get pregnant again and have a beautiful baby before you know it. Now, here's what you need to do...." From there, she told me what I am going to share below. I appreciated her wisdom more than she will ever know. It was so different from my experience at the midwife office who simply sent me home with a prescription for pain meds and a "good luck." She supported my decision not to have a D&C stating, "women have had miscarriages for thousands of years naturally without surgical help, you can too." Another empowering statement. However I feel that the decision to have a D&C is a personal one. While my first and third miscarriage were not painful, this second one was. I support any one's decision to do what they feel is best.

"Go home and pick up a good fiction book, take an Epsom salt bath, eat your favorite chocolate dessert and drink a glass of wine. Don't punish yourself. Nurture and love yourself and do what you need to do to HEAL." That was her last word to me. HEAL. And I feel so strongly about this now. Mothers everywhere regardless of the gravity and type of loss need to allow themselves to HEAL. Because of her words, I did just that. I allowed myself to sleep a lot, take breaks, enjoy nutritious food and started taking supplements right away to HEAL my body and prepare for the next pregnancy.

Also, I cannot tell you what to do with the baby, fetus, person, etc.  I have had many women come to me and tell me they felt terrible because they panicked and flushed the baby or threw it away.  This is a VERY common reaction.  I have now had five opportunities to do it differently and no matter what I do, nothing ever feels right.  I have flushed, buried, thrown away and even had occasions where I found nothing at all.  Please let me reassure you that no matter what course of action you take, none of it feels right.  So please don't torment yourself over this.   After all my opportunities, nothing still feel right no matter what I do.

For more on emotional pain, I suggest you check out this really great article that helped me to heal:  Healing The Trauma:  Entering Motherhood with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder by Jennifer Griebenow.

Step Two: Physical Pain
If the doctor sent you home with pain meds and you were eight weeks or further along, you might consider filling this prescription. Or at a minimum start taking Tylenol or ibuprofen as soon as you feel cramping. I opted to skip the pain meds and take ibuprofen as well as take liquid calcium. This was suggested to me by my friend and yes it has to be liquid calcium. Often it is made with calcium oxolate which is the very best type you can take as calcium citrate and carbonate have low bioavailability.  If it not made with calcium oxolate, it is likly made with another higher quality calcium.  Avoid calcium carbonate and citrate which only has a 4% absorbability rate.  Very low!  As for magnesium, keep in mind that magnesium oxide only has 4% bioavailability in it and will likely not help you.  Better results will happen with magnesium chloride.  Magnesium citrate is the next best type to use. It comes in different flavors and tastes like yogurt. I suggest taking it up to three times a day or more and it does wonder for diminishing the pain and helping your body to heal. However, start taking it right away before the pain occurs so that the body can build up the minerals before hand or you may find yourself filling that prescription instead. Miscarriages can take up to six weeks and that is a long time to take pain medications.   One thing that is great about the liquid calcium is that these nutrients will also help you get pregnant again if that is what you wish to do. One of my favorite brands is: Trace Minerals Calc Mag and Zinc.

Some miscarriages are painful and some are not. Two of my miscarriages were not painful however they were both six weeks or less. My second pregnancy I experienced what amounted to labor pains. I was 8-10 weeks along when I first started bleeding. After spotting on and off for about three weeks, my body decided it was time to "clean house" and dispel all remaining unnecessary tissue (referring to the excess uterus lining as ultrasound showed baby had already passed through). Although it took me by surprise because no one warned about me this and was painful, I also thought that it was amazing that my body did what was necessary to prevent infection from the old tissue that remained. Had it not done this, the tissue would have rotted and caused a terrible infection. Our bodies are much smarter than we realize. At the time however, I was quite frightened and scared I was dying. I should have been warned and been able to prepare for this possibility. This led to lots of bleeding and mini labor pains that lasted for about two hours before my body expelled all of the tissue that it bound up in a ball the size of a golf ball. By the time I reached the ER, it was done and I was sent home. I was frustrated because I would have much preferred to do this at home and not in the car on the way to the hospital. The only thing I would change is that I would have taken more liquid calcium to prepare and I would have stayed home.

My sixth pregnancy (fifth miscarriage) was also this intense.  But I was much more prepared and requested a prescription of hydrocodne/ibuprofen and also beefed up on all the nutrients and herbs as soon as I knew I was miscarrying.  This made a HUGE difference for me.  

Step Three: Blood Loss
First, drink lots of fluids. My favorite was water with a lemon or pure cranberry juice added. Both of which are naturally anti-bacterial and can help prevent infection. If you have a D&C, you will have minimal blood loss however all women having a miscarriage should be taking an iron supplement. A pre-natal multi-vitamin supplement is usually sufficient and if you were taking one - continue doing so. This is also part of the healing process to prepare for your next pregnancy. If you don't have a pre-natal supplement, then I suggest Schiff's PMS Support or my all time favorite:  Floradix. They both contain iron specific for targeting blood loss, vitamin C, chaste berry and B vitamins. I found that taking this naturally boosted my mood and I think it also helped deter any depression I might have otherwise experienced. 

Step Four: Your uterus and hormones
Raspberry leaf tea helps your uterus heal faster and become more nutrient dense for the next baby. Here are some benefits of raspberry leaf tea during a miscarriage(1):   It contains fragrine, an alkaloid which gives tone to the muscles of the pelvic region, including the uterus itself.  Of special note are the rich concentration of vitamin C, the presence of vitamin E and the easily assimilated calcium and iron. Raspberry leaves also contain vitamins A and B complex and many minerals, including phosphorous and potassium. It is also an excellent fertility herb when combined with Red Clover. Prevents hemorrhage. Raspberry leaf tones the uterus and helps prevent postpartum hemorrhage from a relaxed or atonic uterus.  Drink up to six times a day.  If it's easier pre-make as an iced tea and keep in the fridge.

Other herbs that may be helpful are Vitex Chasteberry, Nettle, DIM Plus, Calcium G-Glucarate, Myomin and Milk Thistle. All important for helping your body shed excess hormones that might otherwise interfere with natural healing and the next pregnancy. They will also help correct any hormonal imbalance you may already have that might be interfering with your body.   In addition, they provide calcium, iron and other nutrients important for healing.  Update:  I have had reports from several other women with success from taking DIM Plus.  It will help to know that DIM Plus is simply concentrated cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower and brussel sprouts.  DIM Plus is reported for removing excess hormones such as androgen, testosterone and estrogen therefore making it more easy to get pregnant.  I decided to take it myself for three months to treat my PCOs mood swings which actually went away and I felt more.... balanced overall.  I highly recommend this to anyone struggling with infrequent or irregular periods, mood swings, menopause, breast tenderness, severe PMS and even infertility.  Another wonderful supplement to take is New Chapter's Women One Daily.  I started taking this myself after researching for a high quality vitamin.  It has MANY natural ingredients that support female health including dong quai, raspberry leaf, vitamin D3 (avoid D2) and vitamin K2, maca, chasteberry, elderberry and much more.   

If your miscarriage is sluggish, which means lot of light spotting with no real progression - your doctor or midwife might prescribe cytotec.  I tried cytotec and it didn't work for me.  However, it does work for many women.  Keep in mind that cytotec can cause instant cramping and miscarriage and as a result, quite a bit of discomfort and even pain.  I suggest reading forums on other women's experience so you can prepare yourself.  The number one advice I give women who opt to use this is to also request a strong pain reliever to use alongside with it.  Take the pain reliever 2-3 hours prior to using the cytotec.

When the cytotec didn't work for me, a naturopathic doctor gave me Sabina (aka Sabin).  I now recommend women try Sabina first before cytotec if they can.  It can be picked up at most health food stores or from any naturopath pharmacy.  Interestingly enough, it is also prescribed to prevent miscarriage.  So Sabina will NOT cause a miscarriage to happen to a healthy baby.  But it will hurry up a miscarriage that has already happened and is sluggish.

Sebia homeopathic may also help speed up a sluggish miscarriage.  What is great about Sebia, is that it also helps compel grief if needed.  Be sure take this in a safe environment as women have reported crying on the subway or work after taking this.  Another method to consider is acupuncture.  Not only can they target the spots that will help you expel a miscarriage faster, it is also therapeutic as well.  

Step Five: Getting Pregnant Again
It was helpful for me to think about healing my body and preparing it for the next pregnancy. If you are not planning to get pregnant again, it is important that you still think in terms of healing and nurturing yourself. Other things you can do is eat well and focus on mood-boosting foods with healthy fats such as avocado, olive oil, fish, vegetables, garlic and fresh fruits. If you get pregnant again, be sure to research whether or not to continue taking the supplements. When I got pregnant, I opted to only continue a high quality pre-natal, fish oil and to continue the raspberry leaf tea.  My favorite supplements to take prior to getting pregnant and up until my daughter was born was: New Chapter Perfect Prenatal (it is made from whole foods and I never got sick with this). I love the New Chapter brand and also recommend that you put your spouse on the men's one daily version.   If you are struggling with depression, then also order the New Chapter CoEnzyme B-Vitamin mix.  An absolutely wonderful supplement.  I also highly recommend a fish oil supplement of some kind, specifically cod liver oil.  My preferred brands are Nordic Natural, Barleans, and Carlson.  What I found from personal experience while on these supplements, is my over-all health improved quite a bit and pregnancy happened much more easiliy.  Other brands that are great are Floradix, however it may be too spendy for some.  

After my second miscarriage, I successfully become pregnant two months later and carried her to term. I strongly believe that all the steps I did to heal myself contributed to this. In addition, I used heavy amounts of progesterone cream as I have progesterone deficiency.  She is beautiful, happy and healthy and the best child I could ever ask for. Later when she was 18 months old, I became pregnant and miscarried very early on (third miscarriage). The pregnancy was so short that I could have easily missed it and never known I was pregnant. I knew right away that my body wasn't ready both emotionally and physically and I started taking steps to heal and better prepare my body. We have since decided were not ready for a second child but I know that when we are, I have the skills and tools needed to become pregnant and carry another beautiful baby into the world. I have also started taking all the supplements to prepare my body and fill up my nutritional pregnancy reserves. 

I am very grateful for women like my friend and especially for my great grandmother.  Please feel free to share your own stories and what helped you heal.  Thank you. 

I also suggest checking out this blog as well for more advice and inspiration:  THE HEALTHY HOME ECONOMIST:  How to have a natural Miscarriage.  

7 comments:

  1. What type or brand of progesterone cream did you use? I'm curious after having multiple miscarriages myself.

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  2. I don't remember as it has been a while but there are many great ones on the market. I strongly suggest you request to have your progesterone levels checked weekly for the first trimester. It is a very simple test. Initially, progesterone levels can seem normal but in a person with progesterone deficiency, they can taper down thus causing miscarriages in the 7th week and after. If you are low, I would request progesterone suppositories right away. For example, I am usually at 23 on week five but by week 8 or 9, have dropped to under 8 which is dangerously low. Get the first test around 5 or 6 weeks and request another at 7 or weeks.

    With the cream, I used triple the dose. You cannot use too much. I used it as a face lotion in the morning and also rubbed in my belly. I kept a bottle in my purse and rubbed it on my hands throughout the day. At night, I rubbed it in again. Any spotting can be a sign of placental abruption caused by low progesterone so if you are spotting, request to have your levels checked again.

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    1. Where can I buy progesterone cream?! I know my progesterone run slow and caused this miscarriage. My doctor is no help tho! He didn't do anything to check my levels when I told him. So where can I buy it? I seen some on Amazon. Is it the same? Can I buy the cream and put it on and it will help increase my progesterone? I wouldn't want another miscarriage.

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  3. thank you for this - it is very valuable to myself even if based on your own experience. I had enough of doctor's medication...that doesn't bring me anywhere and ER's Tylenol 3 :D and sitting on a chair.
    I wish I would have found your post a little earlier...but it's still good enough.
    thank you again.
    You are a strong person! Hope you had a healthy pregnancy after all these misfortunes

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  4. Thank You for this info! I'm currently having my first and hopefully my last miscarriage! My baby was 6wks and I started bleeding on Saturday and confirmed the miscarriage on Monday July 14th 2014. My progesterone levels were low and I told my doctor to check it but he didn't think that was my problem! He was wrong! Now I'm suffering a loss! I passed my baby fetus last night, first came the placenta then the poor baby fetus. R.I.P. Aiden Isaiah Ables (conceived in May and ended July 12,2014. I'm planning for another pregnancy after I heal. Just would love to know where I could buy some progesterone cream so I can keep my levels at a good rise. Please any info would be greatly appreciated. Thanks - Milhu age 29..

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  5. What is the dosage and frequency when taking sepia and sabina?

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  6. Great advice! One thing I'd add though is to avoid ibuprofin or other drugs that would cause bleeding. I think maybe tylenol might be OK? Since hemorrhaging might be an issue, just be aware of drugs that could cause bleeding Here's a short list I found on the internet:

    Aceclofenac
    Acenocoumarol
    Acetylsalicylic acid (Aspirin)
    Citalopram*
    Clopidogrel
    Dexibrufen
    Diclofenac
    Dicoumarol
    Escitalopram
    Fluoxetine*
    Fluvoxamine*
    Ibuprofen
    Indomethacin
    Ketoprofen Ketorolac
    Lornoxicam
    Meloxicam
    Nabumetone
    Naproxen
    Paroxetine*
    Phenprocoumon
    Piroxicam
    Sertraline*
    Sulindac
    Tenoxicam
    Ticlopidine
    Warfarin

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